19. FOOL FOR A CLIENT

Mark Whitney
Master Storyteller/Comedian
Production Office:
6640 Lusk Blvd. Suite A-205
San Diego, CA 92121
Toll Free 1.888.JOSHING
Homepage - Reviews
Email: mark@markwhitney.com

Are you on the entertainment committee for the next bar association convention, fundraiser or other special occasion anywhere in North America or the United Kingdom? Book a performance of "Fool For A Client" Mark's award-winning, 90-minute, one-man political-dramedy.




REVIEWS

THE WASHINGTON POST
"Two other polished solo performers, both appearing at the Goethe-Institut Mainstage on Seventh Street NW, deserve bright follow spots....Sharing the Goethe space is the terrific Mark Whitney, who is back with 'Fool for a Client' a new version of his one-man show from last summer. In 'Fool,' he turns an account of his legal and financial troubles with the government (resulting in a stint in federal prison) into a funny and moving -- and, yes, of course, one-sided -- testimonial to a special American brand of iconoclasm. Rawness is an essential part of his performance. The show is sharpest when Whitney's anger is infusing his observational humor -- much the same way that fury wells up in Daisey as he issues his own harsh verdict on the government in 'If You See Something, Say Something.' It goes to show that to do well, perhaps you have to be a little mad." ~"A FINELY TUNED FURY" Peter Marks, Chief Theatre Critic, Washington Post, 7.13.2008

D.C. THEATRE SCENE
"Who knew fraud was funny? For most people, it probably isn’t - especially not when it means facing 225 years in federal prison. But Mark Whitney saw his financial nightmare as an opportunity to fulfill a dream - to represent himself at trial. 'Fool for a Client' is Whitney’s one-man show about his life, beginning with his childhood in the ‘60s, when obesity was impossible because parents used fear and anxiety to help their kids burn calories, taking us through his trial and time served, and catching us up on his family since then. And it’s all hilarious. I’ll admit I was skeptical at first. Clad in a Vermont team’s football jersey, white jeans, and orange sneakers, the 40-something Whitney doesn’t look like a standup comedian. But his comedic timing is spot on, he responds well to the audience (and we, in turn, responded very well to him), and his delivery makes already funny jokes even funnier. No wonder he was able to make $50,000 his first year out of high school selling vacuum cleaners. Going door to door, he learned that you’re always some unknown number of 'No's away from a 'Yes.' Later came his other maxim: 'You never know what a judge is gonna do.' In Whitney’s case, the judge sentenced him to three years in federal prison after a bit of, er, bad luck, let’s say, with a small bank. He had been applying for a loan to build several Ben & Jerry’s franchises, and instead, 'they sent the ice-cream guy to the cooler.' Because prison is the best place to practice law (everyone has legal problems!), Whitney sets up shop in the prison’s law library and eventually learns even the most intricate details of constitutional law. Not only does he get himself out of jail; he gets the IRS to forgive his $1 million debt. Fittingly, freedom to Whitney once meant no rules and making a lot of money; now it means knowledge - or maybe it’s just about having 'non-guilty skin pigmentation.' If I were nearly as good a salesman as Whitney, you would have already bought tickets for his show. Here’s my final pitch: Go hear Whitney’s remarkable story yourself. It’s a vivid, never-boring combination of legal scholarship, humor, and moral insight." ~Janice Cane, Theatre Critic, D.C. Theatre Scene, 7.14.2008

MINNEAPOLIS CITY PAGES
"When Mark Whitney takes the stage and starts talking about his love of high-school civics and how he was the class smart-ass who married the valedictorian, for a moment you might experience a sensation akin to sitting down next to the wrong guy at a bar. Then you realize something about the guy: He's exuding the weird, almost unfamiliar fumes of a guy absolutely high on old-school American freedom. With a stand-up comic's wit, Whitney tells the story of his life: his rapacious tactics as a vacuum cleaner salesman, his forays into early Ben and Jerry's franchises, then his conviction for bank fraud and subsequent odyssey as a self-taught legal expert and federal prisoner. By the end, he pulls his themes into our present moment, complete with babies being scanned in airport X-ray machines in the name of safety. Raucous, hilarious, damn near revolutionary." ~Quinton Skinner, Theater Critic, Minneapolis City Pages, 8.6.2008

PIONEER PRESS
"'MUST SEE!' A good storyteller can suck up your attention like a high-end Electrolux with little in the way of props or scenery. But no one else has life experiences like Mark Whitney's. This San Diego-based standup comedian and online law librarian is a former convict who waged a landmark fight against the U.S. Department of Justice's sentencing guidelines that went all the way to the Supreme Court. But this is a far cry from legal wonkery. It's a hilarious and harrowing journey into the belly of the beast that is our criminal justice system, with a captivating raconteur as guide." ~Rob Hubbard. Theatre Critic, Pioneer Press/TwinCities.com, 8.3.2008

STAR TRIBUNE
"Critic's Pick!" ~Star Tribune/Vita.mn, 8.05.2008

VARIETY
"Potential breakout acts seen at the fest include....San Diego performer Mark Whitney's political dramedy 'Fool for a Client.'" ~Paul Harris, Theatre Critic, Variety, 8.15.2008

DENVER POST
Critic's Pick! ~John Moore, Denver Post Theater Critic, 8.22.2008

BOULDER DAILY CAMERA
"Whitney’s sharp commentary on our justice system, the society’s swing toward Orwellian governance and BS in general is based on his own wild story....Whitney has a keen eye for the truth of things, and he’s just a straight-up funny storyteller. His show provides a whole lot of laughs for your loot." ~Mark Collins, Theatre Critic, Daily Camera, 8.19.2008

LAVENDER MAGAZINE
"Prison was also central to the hilariously terrifying Fool For a Client written and performed by D.C. comedian Mark Whitney. It became a Festival Encore presentation as well. Drawing from the trauma and drama around his actual conviction for bank fraud, this riveting solo comedy piece hits hard in this time of government bailouts of big business and of private citizens being illegally surveilled and ruined. Whitney is also ballsy because, though a white heterosexual man, he dares to use the n-word and the term ‘cocksucker’. Not to shock or irritate, but to portray legitimately the reality of the gritty world he reflects and the insidious justice system he exposes. He’s rightly hard on Bush and the GOP but the Clinton administration and the Democrats don’t get off the hook either." ~John Townsend, Theater Critic, Lavender: Minnesota's GLBT Magazine, 8.23.2008

"FIVE STARS! - WHAT A STORY! WHAT A STORY TELLER! Entertaining from beginning to end. I learned a thing or two: NEVER invite a vacuum cleaner salesman into your bedroom. I used to do that all the time! If you ever need legal advice, call Mark! An hour of escapism, voyeurism, and adventure. Who could ask for more?" ~Pamela King, '08 Tour Patron Review, Theatermania.com, 7.13.2008

"Is Mark Whitney an ex-con? If not, he sure fooled me and the rest of the audience at a sold-out performance at the Goethe Institute Main Stage. With wit and pathos he told the fascinating story of his trial and punishment, and his ultimate triumph over The System. His troubles stemmed from misstatements he made on an application for a bank loan so he could set up a chain of Ben and Jerry’s stores in Vermont. He represented himself at trial and was convicted and sent to prison. And that’s when he learned law and used his knowledge – and his vacuum cleaner salesman tricks - to gain his freedom. Whitney keeps us laughing as his tale unfolds. His performance is polished, artless and insightful. It’s a great show, and I wasn’t alone in not wanting it to end. Be sure to reserve tickets in advance so you’re not turned away from a full house." ~Bob Morrison, 2008 D.C. Theatre Festival Staff Review

NEW YORK THEATRE CORPS
"A self-made millionaire whose American Dream went horribly wrong thanks to 'a saga of litigation,' Mark Whitney has good reason to be bitter. Instead, he's ironic. His fact-based monologue is rich with darkly funny, often cautionary, observational humor. There are so many sharp and succinct one-liners that I stopped trying to retain them all and just let them come and go. Most are derived from Whitney's bullseye-aim at some of the injustices and flat-out absurdities of our legal system. But, Whitney's eventual target is larger. It's a well-written piece, absorbing from start to finish, in which warm and conversational Whitney mines his real-life personal nightmare to warn against (among other things) blind faith in authority. That's a message that never gets old." ~Patrick Lee, New Theater Corps, An Insightful Look At What's Happening On The New York Stage, 2.28.2008

"Fool For A Client was indeed reminiscent of Lewis Black at his most pissed-off." ~Baron Dave Romm's Live Journal 7.31.2008

"Mark Whitney works the audience, not a few times channeling Rodney Dangerfield." ~Jill Yoblonski, Theatre Critic, The Rake, 7.31.2008

"Usually I’m happy to use this space to just sort of talk about my impressions, work through them, let people read and draw their own conclusions. Not so with this show. I want you to see this show. You, reading this? That’s right: go ahead, click on the link above, go to his show page, and schedule one of his performances. Yes, it’s funny. Yes, it’s smart. But beyond that, I think it captures something important: I think that it captures some important truths about humanity, and government, and all those kinds of things that I’m constantly struggling to find a way to communicate to people. When I complain about cheap, stupid, obvious political comedy? This is the antithesis of that. I could go on and on. But really. Schedule it now. Go." ~"Returning Champions", Phillip Low, 7.31.2008

The Toughest Ticket In Town! Our Favorite Non-Review!
"We tried for the 8:00 showing of FOOL FOR A CLIENT by Mark Whitney at Bryant-Lake Bowl. Sold out! As we come into the home stretch of this year’s festival, I’ve mapped out the final days pretty solidly; at this point, if I miss slots, I’m missing shows for good, and that makes kittens cry. This is an example. Last week I had all the time in the world to see Mark’s show…right now, it looks like I won’t see him at all." ~Kate Hoff, Theatre Critic, Daily Planet, 8.7.2008

"FIVE STARS! A superlative, superlative show - with some drop dead brilliant comic moments! Reflective, insightful, and damn good stand up! If you like comedy that doesn't rely on cheap jokes, or meanness, check out this quality entertainment. Mark has clearly done a lot of work to hone this piece, taking life experiences and making lemonade from lemons and the result is both intriguing, inspiring, and completely entertaining." ~Josh Medley, 8.19.2008, Patron Review

"FIVE STARS! The show was surprising, candid, hilarious, sad...full of the juice of life as its really lived. Also, Whitneys candor about his limitations and how he found the courage to become an advocate for himself is inspiring." ~Linda Stonerock, 8.21.2008, Patron Review

"FIVE STARS! Fabulous storyteller. Incredible story. How to take a lemon and turn it into the most delicious lemonade. Your odd view of this twisted world we live in is fabulously funny and your own brand of triumph over the insanity is inspiring. You prove that with the intention to survive and a pinch of creativity, there can be a silver lining to the most challenging things we must deal with. Thanks for a most enjoyable and engaging 80 minutes." ~Iris Burman, 8.21.2008, Patron Review

"FIVE STARS! You'd be a fool to miss this! The funniest ex-con to legal expert imaginable." ~Judith Martin, 8.3.2008, Patron Review

"FIVE STARS! Get there early! There are going to be a lot of disappointed theatre-goers this week. For the first show, half of the tickets had been sold ahead of time. And for good reason. His story is engaging, thought-provoking, and done with polished comedic timing. He had us lurching in our seats several times with gut-wrenching punchlines. No one is immune, the government, lawyers, his wife. She's stood by him for 25-plus years. You don't want to miss it. But, you will miss it unless you order online. I'd bet good money the rest of his shows will be sold out completely. And that's not by accident." ~Ari Ofsevit, 8.3.2008, Patron Review

"FIVE STARS! Hip lawyer story! Mark Whitney does a passionate, funny, and critical telling of his legal encounters, conviction, and imprisonment. He makes you laugh, get angry, and wonder how it all happened." ~Peter Erickson, 8.3.2008, Patron Review

"FIVE STARS! Stunning! I wish my son and daughter could have seen this. I wish I could have seen it with a roomful of college kids taking Philosophy 101 or American Government. But in a sense I did, because Mark took us all back there, back to the place where you say WTF is wrong with the system? And why didn't I notice before? Zero tolerance for zero tolerance indeed." ~Paula Nancarrow, 8.6.2008, Patron Review

"FIVE STARS! Can someone give this guy a ten?! This has got to be the best comedy and storytelling that I have seen at the festival. If everything in this story is true, for all the comedy it is damn scary, and it seems that at least the main theme is. This guy deserves a ten for just being able to stay focused and turn what he's gone through into a comedy story. He's brilliant, and the tale he tells speaks loudly of the times we are living.....Mark I hope you see this. I was sitting second row under your nose. It's guys like you that make the world a better place." ~Rose Roberta Pauling, 08.06.2008, Patron Review

"FIVE STARS! A comedy, a tragedy, a love story all in one!" ~Deb Ann, 8.3.2008, Patron Review

"FIVE STARS! Excellent! A treatise on our legal system. Extremely hilarious with too much truth." ~Richard Heise, 8.6.2008, Patron Review

"FIVE STARS! An amazing, incredible and riveting story told with wit and wisdom, passion and almost non-stop humor." ~James Morrison, 8.24.2008, Patron Review

"FIVE STARS! Great Show! Incredible solo piece from someone who knows his craft well, whether it's vacuum sales, fleecing the IRS, challenging the law, or delivering brilliant comedy." ~Celeste Black, 8.3.2008, Patron Review

"FIVE STARS! Lets hear it for love and redemption...good job Mark! You are a great American!" ~Michael, 08.25.2008

"FIVE STARS! Five times funnier than Lewis Black and Tim Allen combined! Mark should have his own HBO special within the year! Unfortunately, he'll never sign the contract." ~Chris Critic, Patron/Review, 2007 Boulder International Theatre Festival

"WHAT IS STORYTELLING AND WHO IS A STORYTELLER?"
As I finally begin my mad dash to see as many shows as humanly possible I find myself sitting in Bryant Lake Bowl actually laughing out loud at Mark Whitney’s show 'Fool For A Client.' As I’m walking out the door I happen to overhear two people complaining that the show isn't storytelling, it's stand-up comedy. This person’s companion huffed in agreement and went on to say that it wasn’t 'even theater.' So I ponder. You see, I am a performer. I use humor to tell my stories. Often, the more painful the story, the darker and broader the humor. Not every story needs to be of the traditional variety. Story can be personal narrative (visit the Moth web site and you’ll know what that genre is all about), it can be ancient folk tale, it can have a clearly defined plot, or moral. It can be told completely scripted or significantly improved. It can be read with fairly minimal physicality or completely “acted”. From my point of view, a storyteller is someone who speaks from the stage directly to the audience as opposed to someone or a group of someones who uses the stage as a private world and allows the audience to watch the action more or less as a voyeur. So what the hell is my point? 'Fool For A Client' is a most compelling personal narrative told to a participating audience in an extremely humerous manner. Sometimes using sex or other no-no’s to allow people to groan, hiss, laugh, etc. Mark Whitney is most definitely a storyteller, and if that title bothers you because you have a narrow definition of what a storyteller is, then life for you is full of too many shoulds and should nots, which makes me laugh because in many ways, that was pretty much the main point of Mark’s story. The show is outstanding and selling out, so if you still plan to go, reserve, reserve, reserve." ~Howard Lieberman, Jaded Optimist Coloring Book, 8.6.2008 -

NYTHEATRE.COM
"What do you do with a door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman? Imagine you're at home, relaxing, settling into a book, a movie, a slice of cheesecake, a telephone conversation. The doorbell rings. You put down whatever you're doing and open the door, only to be greeted by a nice, smiling young man trying to sell you a vacuum cleaner, an item you probably don't want and definitely cannot afford. Look at the smile: you know it's fake and you definitely know it wants something. That smile asks how you're doing. His teeth ask if he can take a moment of your time. Your book, movie, cheesecake, phone are waiting. You don't want to be rude. He is only doing his job. He's persistent. Asks all kinds of questions. Answers your questions follow-up questions of his own. He throws some dirt on the floor and gives you a demonstration of his product. It's good. In fact, it sucks up the dirt nicely. And it does make the carpet cleaner. Whether or not you need the thing, he's a charmer. He's kind, friendly, gracious and understanding. You break down and buy the vacuum cleaner. You've just been had. Or have you? 'Fool for a Client', Mark Whitney's entertaining one-man show, is not about vacuum cleaners. It's an autobiographical tale covering the roughly 30 years of Whitney's professional life, which begins after high school as a vacuum cleaner salesman and ends with him successfully defending himself three times against the United States Department of Justice; the first and only high school educated pro-se defendant in history to defeat the Department of Justice on three occasions in the United States Court of Appeals. During this time, he marries the woman of his dreams, starts and maintains a successful marketing agency, buys several pieces of property, opens a chain of Ben & Jerry's Homemade Ice Cream franchises in Vermont, fails to pay his taxes, spends some time in a maximum security federal penitentiary, and becomes, in my opinion, the foremost amateur attorney in the history of the United States. It's a fascinating tale, full of unexpected twists, some of them hilarious, some of them hard to believe. (Full disclosure: while I suspect some of them have been embellished for dramatic purposes, I am unbelievably gullible and believed every last one of them.) He tells this tale simply, with three costume changes, minimal props (watch out for the lawn darts), an amiable tone and the timing of a comic. The simplicity is deceptive, though, and for that we come back to our friendly neighborhood vacuum cleaner salesman. There are certain techniques a salesman employs to create a need for the product he's selling—fear, negotiation and compassion among them. As a salesman, Whitney is able to use these needs to achieve his ends: money, a house, a means to support the woman he loves and the family they've created. But as a citizen he is able to use these techniques to take on the system....His script is intelligent, his behavior fiendishly clever. His story perfectly illustrates that one person, using his ingenuity and intelligence, can go up against a monolith and emerge victorious. In a society which asks very little of its citizenry or leaves the majority of its people feeling powerless, this is no small achievement." ~Robert Weinstein, NYTheatre.com, 2.27.2008

BOULDER DAILY CAMERA
“Mark Whitney went from selling vacuum cleaners to opening Ben & Jerry’s franchises to 700 days in the federal penitentiary for fraud. Now he’s turning his travails into comedy. With a keen eye for shadiness – and an involuntary reflex to cut right through it in humorous, politically incorrect fashion – Whitney takes aim at several deserving targets. Among them are Government agencies that have long since departed ways with common sense, a justice system sometimes at odds with the truth, and child-coddling baby boomers, including himself. (In a funny bit that makes a point about ‘back in the day,’ Whitney pulls out a pair of Jarts, in retrospect, the wildly dangerous lawn dart toy from the 1970s). At its best, ‘Fool For A Client’ is subversive. It may even make some squirm from all the honesty.” ~Mark Collins, Theatre Critic, Boulder Daily Camera, 8.24.2007

“A sketchy bank loan, an ice cream franchise and (gulp!) a near-million-dollar debt to IRS….A compelling story even without the reliable jokes….Whitney lands punch lines with confidence.” ~Nelson Pressley, Theatre Critic, Washington Post, 7.28.2007

"Mark Whitney gave an invigorating one-man performance about a regular guy who fails to pay his income tax for a measly 1 million dollars. It was a fascinating piece. The audience is faced with a guy who could be the all American next door hero who commits asocial acts. There was lots of warm comedy that got fine audience responses." ~Robert Anthony, AllArtsReview4u.com-"The Best of The Best", 7.29.2007

“Holy shit, was I ever in the audience for this show. He starts out with a few enjoyable rifts on government-speak, including “tolerance” and “zero-tolerance,” and I find myself thinking that I enjoyed it, and agreed with the basic point, but wished there was more of a spirit of anger informing it. Wow, did I speak too soon! Bleak, bitter, and funny as hell, this show works precisely because it recognizes that there’s nothing funny about the ideas it’s ridiculing. It tells the story of a man trapped between banks, law firms, the IRS, the Supreme Court, and the weight of the US government — and his frenzied attempts to beat the legal system at its own game, to win back his liberty and his family....I want people to see this show, not just because I’m in passionate agreement with its message, but because it’s good satire, dark, mean, smart, and hilarious. Mark wrestles with ideas that almost nobody else is onstage right now, so please, please, please make an effort to see this show.” ~Phillip Low, Theatre Critic, Iowa & Minnesota Theatre Festivals, 7.23.2007

"Master litigator." ~United States Attorney, April 1993

"A saga of litigation." ~Senior United States District Judge Shane Devine, April, 1993

"FIVE STARS! On Saturday evening at 9:30, I had one ticket left. I couldn’t decide whether to catch another show or just go home. I was in the mood for something light and funny. I got 'funny,' but it was hardly light. Mark Whitney is an irreverent, Libertarian comedian who will offend both liberals and conservatives or anyone who still believes that our cherished rights are not being compromised daily by oligarchs who manipulate the rules to suit their agendas. He has one show left. If you like Lewis Black’s outrageous comedy, you’ll like Mark Whitney as he takes you on his personal journey from successful entrepreneur to convicted felon to successful entrepreneur and now comedian." ~Richard, Patron/Review, 2007 Iowa Theatre Festival

“FIVE STARS! Edge of my seat, wide awake, never knew what was coming next, brilliant script and energetic performance. Great.+" ~Ina Robbins, Patron/Review, 2007 Tour

“FIVE STARS! By far, the BEST theatre performance I've seen in years! A funny, scary, alarming and touching one man show about his true life-altering experience with the U.S. Justice System. You must see this show if you see any!" ~Mary Belochi, Patron/Review, 2007 Tour

"FIVE STARS! Excellent! He told a fascinating story with some spot-on social commentary as well. There were several hilarious moments that had our group near tears. We saw the last show here in Minneapolis. We will watch for this guy next year." ~Kristi Lawless, Patron/Review, 2007 Tour

“FIVE STARS! Fantastic! A super talent. We were kept laughing until the tears flowed. You don't know what you missed!" ~by James Holmen, Patron Review, 2007 Tour

"FIVE STARS! I laughed out loud throughout and left feeling good. The story is a classic American struggle of individualism and risk versus bureaucracy and control. I loved the free-wheeling spirit." ~Alan Davis, Patron/Review, 2007 Tour

"FIVE STARS! Not what I expected and that is what made it so interesting in addition to being funny. The piece provided great insight with a lovable quirkiness. The performer was brilliant and has a great niche. I am an attorney and loved his spearing of my profession. Don't miss it!" ~Scott R., Patron/Review, 2007 Tour

"FIVE STARS! Stand Up Truth! Mark does a wonderful job of telling his own strange history and relating it to our own lives in this country. I found him funny and sincere. While skewering our twisted economic, judicial and criminal systems, Mark helps us empathize with his experience and sympathize with those who do not have the 'skills' he has who are caught in the system. Loved it!" ~Mark Long, Patron/Review, 2007 Tour

"FIVE STARS! Captivating Storyteller! This was a great 'rags to riches to prison to riches' story." ~Michael Heise, Patron/Review, 2007 Tour

“FIVE STARS! Funny funny funny man!" ~Lee McLaughlin, Patron/Review, 2007 Tour

"FIVE STARS! Mark Twain meets Lewis Black! Run, don't walk, to this show!" ~Chris Davis, Patron/Review, 2007 Tour

“FIVE STARS! Amazing story-inspiring. I assume his story is true-if so he is one survivor." ~Allegra, Patron/Review, 2007 Tour

“FIVE STARS! Leaves you laughing and very sad at the same time since his story is true and a sad commentary on our country's political and legal system. A must see! Excellent!" ~Barbara K., Patron/Review, 2007 Tour

"FIVE STARS! It was devastating! The story had to be told. It would have been too difficult if it had not been done with humor. It was definitely also a suspense drama. I was clutching my bag nearly the whole time." ~Michelle Hastings, Patron/Review, 2007 Tour

"FIVE STARS for the spangled, at times tangled banner that breezes behind the heroic tales that is Mark Whitney! Whitney may not realize what a great comic he is. He is partially blinded by his storyteller gift. His jokes, the condensed material, sit like hovering 'T' balls and every time he's up to bat we're screaming in the bleechers, 'HOME RUN!' I have ZERO TOLERANCE for ZERO TOLERANCE and I'm not going to take it anymore!!!" ~Snap Shot Sneak Peek, Patron/Review, 2007 Tour

"FIVE STARS! This was a total knockout and hysterically funny. Mark is truly irrepressable in every sense of the word. One of the best of a great festival!" ~Cary M., Patron/Review, 2007 Tour